Better Than Nothing
by WhiteBlankPage
Summary: Life before, during and after Julia told from Cece's POV. Some Bullforg and Eli's POV as well.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: I have always been facinated with the Goldsworthy family, they seemed so diffrent from any kind of family Degrassi has ever had. I especially love Cece, and think she is one of the most realistic mother's on the show. Here's just my idea for how things went before, during and after Julia from Cece's POV with a little Bullfrog and Eli's POV as well. **

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**Cece Goldsworthy always knew one day she would be a mother.

She knew that she had the compassion and patience for it.

She met and fell in love with Bullfrog in the humid summer of 1992 at a Metallica concert. Cece was there with a few of her friends, and Bullfrog was a young intern at the local radio station when he accidently bumped into her with a handful of beers. Honestly Cece was not that upset, it was refreshing in the warm summer heat, but Bullfrog insisted on apologizing to her throughout both of the encores, serenading her with Guns N' Roses lyrics.

That was all it took.

The two experienced a truly wonderful summer of love which ended with the conception of their son.

She remembers the day she found out, the joy and tears she felt.

She remembers Bullfrogs face covered in shock and confusion, while Bullfrog was not against the idea of having a child it was not a burning desire in him like it was for Cece.

It wasn't until the day that their son was born that Bullfrog finally became ok with the idea of being a parent. All it took was one look. He took one look into those deep intense green eyes and he knew what unselfish love was. This tiny creature was his son, a little bit of him, and hopefully a whole lot of Cece.

They had started trying for a second child around Eli's first birthday, but after months of trying and doctor visits with no answers Cece slowly began to accept that she would never have the little girl she always hoped for, or any other children for that matter.

Instead she threw everything she had into raising her son. Eli was the moon and the stars to her. He was always an intense child, clingy but independent, calm but explosive, intelligent and inquisitive. Eli was Cece's life.

While most children enjoy spending weekend at their friends houses, out riding bikes and eating junk food too close to the TV, Eli would rather spend the time with his mother, discussing music and movies and books. Eli was wise for someone his age, something Bullfrog insisted could have only come from his wife. Cece beamed with Joy from just being around her son, he loved her so deeply, so honestly. He was everything she had dreamed of.

Eli was small for his age and had a aura of quiet maturity, which made him a easy target for the bigger, dumber kids. Eli never fought back, and more days than Cece likes to recall Eli would return home from school with bruises and cuts, covering his delicate skin and face. Eli never complained to Cece and as much as she pushed he refused to reveal the identity of his tormentor.

It pained Cece to see her son suffering in silence, the mother in her wanted to protect her son, from everything and everyone, so she did not push Eli to be social, to engage in the normal activities that most children do. Cece wanted to keep Eli safe, and she felt the only way she could do that was to keep him at home, close to her heart, where he belonged.

Even as Eli ventured into adolescence and his interest and hobbies changed, little did their relationship. Like any teenage boy he spent hours talking about videogames, movies, and of course girls.

Cece knew one day Eli would find a girl and that she would have to share her son with someone, she wanted that for her son of course, but she thought it would be years from now, once he had been away from the home for a while and she had been able to adjust to his periodic absence before giving her son to someone else completely.

She remembers the day Eli first brought home Julia in the fall of freshmen year.

Over the past few weeks Julia's name became a part of everyday conversation for Eli. While Cece sat in the den reading a magazine Eli would nonchalantly mention Julia every few minutes as he tried to concentrate on his Algebra homework. Cece would listen attentively to her son, as he tried his best to hid the feelings he felt for the girl he sat behind in French class, even though her name seemed to roll off his tongue with too much ease to be just another member of the freshmen student body.

She admit that at first she thought nothing of it, just a first crush, a cute little girl with whom Eli could begin to explore what it is too have feelings for someone and have them reciprocated. Innocent and pure, just like her son.

By the time Cece officially met Julia when Eli brought her home she felt as if she had known the small girl for years. She remembers how shy the girl was, with her dark hair covering half of her face like a shield. She was dressed in black jeans that clung to her tiny legs, and an oversized flannel that floated softly away from her youthful frame. She stood almost identical in height to Eli, with lovely brown eyes that were full of warmth and mystery.

The girl was very beautiful, there was no denying it.

She remembers so much about the first time she met Julia, but mostly she remembers Eli. How he seemed to appear different to her, with this lovely girl standing next to him. She could see the glimmer in his eyes, and the way the tiny smirk he always had seemed to now remain in permanence across his face. It was a look that made her heart fill with so much love.

Cece knew that Eli would catch the love bug early in his life, it was just who he was, passionate and sensitive, both things that needed to be shared. Cece knew that he little boy was growing up and she no longer could be the only one he shared his life with.

Eli was always the kind of kid who did everything with his whole heart or not at all, so it shouldn't have surprised her that Eli loved that way as well.

If only she had known then that everything would change. That the emergance of this girl was about to rock the Goldsworthy family in a way Cece could have never imagined.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Chapter 2 focuses mostly on the events involving Julia moving in and how things changed even more for Cece and Eli shortly there after.**

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Eli fell in love with Julia fast, faster than Cece though a fourteen year old should.

Within two weeks of her son and Julia datinge he was spending every minutes with her, or talking to her, texting her, speaking of her. Cece told herself it was just puppy love, the overwhelming excitement of first love. However it was when everything else in his life began to go away that she started worrying. Eli no longer hung out with any of his friends, he never asked to go to the store to pick up the newest addition of some comic book, or even took time to sit down with Cece while doing his homework and talk about the day's events.

No, Eli was nowhere to be seen as Cece sat in the den reading her magazine on a random Thursday night, he hadn't been there in weeks.

Cece was never one to be overbearing on her child, she didn't dictate rules and regulation onto Eli, for the most part, he never needed them.

But it was when Eli came home on a Tuesday in tears running past the den, past Cece, not even taking a moment to glance in her direction as if she wasn't even there that she knew this was more than puppy love, and her son was changed forever. Cece sat in silence as she heard the door to his room slam shut. Eli ALWAYS came to her when things were wrong, Eli was not one to shut out his emotions, or her, so she was admittedly a little hurt that he had chosen solidarity tonight instead of the comfort of Cece's loving arms, it left a cold empty feeling inside of her.

Perhaps it is just a teenager thing she told herself, part of growing up and gaining independence from his parents.

It had nothing to do with her, she reassured herself, it was hormonal, nothing more.

Cece tried to accept this, and it worked for awhile until one day Eli came home with Julia and asked to talk.

Cece froze inside.

Eli had hardly said more than a few sentences to her over the last few weeks, and mostly only after her prompts. Here he was though, her teenage son and his girlfriend, sitting across from her, both of them looking nervous and scared.

"Oh God, she thought, she's pregnant."

Cece suddenly didn't want to be there, she didn't want to talk to her son and his girlfriend.

She like Julia, she did. She was a good compliment to Eli's intensity with her carefree attitude and strong personality. She had grown fond of the girl even if some day's she felt like she was taking her son away, but she would never admit too it. She couldn't help but feel guilty looking at these two teenagers, children really, only kids who knew nothing about the world.

They were not ready for this, she thought.

SHE was not ready.

She should have prepared him more, she thought, she should have set more boundaries, perhaps she was too lenient of a parent.

I mean who lets their teenage son be alone in the house with his girlfriend anyways?

Perhaps she put too much trust in her son, took his maturity for truth. he was only a little boy, her little boy.

Cece admittedly was outwardly shocked when instead of revealing that Julia was pregnant he instead asked if she could move it. At first Cece said and did nothing, the shock of them not being pregnant needed a moment to settle away before the shock of this new revelation could be processed.

Move in?

Eli and Julia had only been dating two months, a moment in time really, hardly time enough to develop a relationship warranting the need to live together.

They were kids, KIDS!

However, once Eli explained how horrific things were for Julia at her home and she sat there and watched as Julia broke down, and how good her son was at comforting her that the whole situation changed.

She understood everything.

Why Eli had been so aloof lately, why he spent so much time with Julia, and not with her, the secretiveness, the distance.

Her son, her sensitive passionate son was the only thing in Julia's life that didn't suck. Cece knew it would take some work to convince Bullfrog on the idea, but she knew her way around him and with time and reason he would agree to whatever she did. Bullfrog trusted Cece in raising Eli, and usually let her make all the decisions based on what was best for him.

So Cece agreed to let Julia live with them because she knew that if she didn't she would lose Eli even more. At least, she thought, if they were both here she could keep an eye on them, protect them both and make sure that she was still a part of her sons life.

She felt she really didn't have a choice.

She knew what people would think, letting two teenagers share a room together, but Cece never cared much what other people thought. She knew that she had to do this, for Eli, for her own sanity.

When Julia and Eli got back that evening from getting Julia's things, Cece asked Eli is she could talk to him with Julia put away her stuff. She knew that she might not get another chance to talk to her son alone, about this and she needed to do it before something _did_ happen.

Cece sat across from Eli on the oversized chair and looked at her son. His dark brown hair had started to grow out and it hung lazily over his forehead, tickling his eyelids, hooding the two green Safire's that stared back at her. She hated it, his hair like that, he had such beautiful eyes, and she didn't like that anything would get in the way of her being able to look into them.

Eli sat across from her, his clothes dark and neat, he looked so much older to her all of a sudden, as if in the last few weeks he had aged a whole year without her realizing it.

What was love doing to her son? She wanted so bad to stop it. She wanted her little boy back, the one who confessed that she was his best friend, who came home from school every night and would help her make dinner, and talk endlessly about EVERYTHING while she quietly listened.

"Thank you so much for letting Julia stay here mom," Eli's spoke gently.

Cece took and inward gasp at the sound of her sons voice, it was as if she hadn't heard him speak in weeks, it was husky and low.

It was not full of lighthearted excitement and expression. Cece held back tears realizing her son was changing before her eyes, and she was surprised by how unprepared she felt for it. It was only a few weeks ago they were discussing what concert they wanted to go to over winter break, and now here they sat, his teenage girlfriend unpacking things upstairs.

She started to wonder if she had made a mistake letting Julia move it. She knew Eli was not ready for this, and more importantly, neither was she.

"Well I hope you both know that this is only for a little while Eli," Cece spoke quietly, as if raising her volume would make life move even faster. Eli nodded staring at her deeply, where had this new intensity in him come from? Cece swallowed and continued, she had hurry up and have this discussion she thought, before she blinked at Eli was 18 and married with a family of his own.

"Eli, I know that you care about Julia very much, and that's great," she started. clearing her throat, "But I just want to make sure you two realize that you are young and there is no need to be rushing things, just because Julia is staying with us doesn't mean you two can't still be teenager and enjoy life outside of your relationship." Eli let a small smile appear on his face, listening to his mother talk. Cece was always so gentle with her words.

Cece didn't smile back, she was concerned Eli was not understanding what she was saying. She was not getting through to him, his brain was mush, with love she thought. She remembers those days, how fulfilling and glamorous it is, and also how dangerous.

"Eli, I just want you to not grow up too fast, sometimes we get so blinded by love that we forget about what is important, as if nothing else matters as long as the love exist, do you understand what I am saying?" Cece needed to know he did.

Eli nodded, "You don't want me to get hurts mom." Eli paused for a moment before continuing, "Is this suppose to be like the sex talk mom, because I know all about that."

Cece closed her eyes.

Yes this was about sex, partially, but she wanted Eli to understand it was about more than that, much more. It was about what being in a sexual relationship means physically and emotionally.

She knew Eli knew all about sex because she had started talking to him about it four years ago when she has accidently walked in on him one day with one of her Victoria's Secret magazine and his hand down his pants.

She remembers how she had been careful to not teach Eli that sex was a bad thing as many parents do. Cece did not believe that abstinence was a necessary thing to teach to Eli, there was no religion in their home, and Cece herself has been young when she had lost her virginity, though not as young as Eli is now.

"Mom, don't worry, we're not having sex," Eli paused momentarily before adding the blow, "But we've talked about it, and I know I love Julia and I want too." Eli's cheeks turned a deep crimson, as did Cece's.

Cece let out a small smile, because she didn't know what other facial expression to make.

Cece didn't bring up the sex things again with Eli, she knew it had been awkward for him, and truthfully she tried to push it out of her mind, hating the thought of her baby boy being involved in a sexual relationship.

She tried to pretend that it wasn't going on, though unfortunately two weeks after Julia moved in all the signs were there. The affection they displayed in front of people was heightened, the word's I love you were used in everyday conversation between the two, and Cece had found an unopened condom or two in Eli's pants while doing his laundry.

She tried to ignore it but couldn't.

She knew whether it had happened or not, it was only a matter of time. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know when that time was or not. Some things even the most liberal of parents are better off being in the dark about.

She was conflicted if she would want Eli to talk to her about it, tell her, anything. She wanted to believe that they still had that kind of relationship, one where there were no secrets between the two. She longed for that really, it all suddenly felt so far away, like a distant memory from someone else's life. Julia had come into her life like a warm summer storm, and without warning had changed the dynamics of the entire household. though no of it mattered, really. It did not matter if Cece was ready for her son to grow up, because it was happening.

Everything changed though when she returned home from work earlier than usual one day and walked by Eli's room on the way to her own and she could hear the gentle noises coming from behind his door, noises that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She only stood there for a moment before running into her own room, and shutting the door, wanting to drown out the noise. She was not ready for this, any of it.

Dinner was hard for Cece that night, looking at her son and his lover across the table from her, knowing what they had been up to that afternoon. They're just kids, she kept thinking, just innocent little kids. She knew only half of that statement was true.

After dinner Cece asked to speak to Julia alone and as hard as it was for her, she explained to Julia that she thought it would be a good idea if she went with her to the clinic tomorrow to get some birth control. It surprised Cece how unembarrassed Julia seemed to be talking to Cece about this. Cece wished it had been a little bit more comfortable for her, but here she was talking to a fourteen year old about birth control, even though Julia was not her daughter, she still felt a need to protect her.

Taking Julia to the clinic felt like a small victory. It was a way she could have some control over the situation, a way for Cece to feel like she still had a part in protecting her son and being involved in his life. Even though it was one of the hardest things she had ever done.

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**Thanks for reading...**


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